Project 50

Hi y'all. It has been almost 10 years since I started this blog. Back then I was  staring down the barrel of forty and my life was a mess. So I resolved to make some changes. Here I am ten years later chasing fifty. Everything has changed and nothing has changed. I got a divorce. Adopted three more kids. Lost 106 pounds. Gained 50 of it back. I bought a house, got a job. I loved and lost. Got a dog. I've been a lot of places. Had a lot of laughs. Shed a lot of tears. Lost some rally good friends. Gained a ton of really great ones too. But after all this time I'm still me y'all. I'm still messy and unorganized. I'm still funny and creative. I'm still really bad with money. I still have a heart as big as Texas. I still want to get my shit together. It's been my goal for as long as I can remember. I want to balance work and home. I want to be the best mom and still take care of myself. I want manage things better. Don't we all. So here I am. 49 years old. Lacking in so many areas. Feeling like time is slipping thru my fingers. And once again I find myself reflective. I have decided to make a list of 50 things to do before I'm 50. A bucket list of sorts. But I don't like to call it that because it sounds too cheesy and over played. So for now I'm calling it project 50. Fifty ordinary and extraordinary things that I hope to accomplish in 52 weeks. Some of them are year long projects. Some of them are things to do everyday. Some of them are one time events. Some of them you wont understand because they are personal. So I'll do my best to explain. I'm sitting here at my computer with the stuck letter -I cant even type it because its stuck- last letter of the alphabet. In my coffee cup pajamas. with all of these ideas floating around in my head. Who knows how this all plays out.  Do I know if this will be life changing? No idea. Do I think it will be interesting? You bet. So here is the list. Let's go. Y'all. Times a wasting.

1. Apply to give a Ted Talk - The Subject? Get Your Shit Together.

2. Carl Jensen project - This is a complicated idea. Bear with me. A long time ago my kids were bugging me about what my boyfriends name was. I don't have a boyfriend so I made up a name- Carl Jensen. It's become a family thing. I even now have three FB friends named Carl Jensen. Thru the years I have wondered about all the random people in the world named Carl Jensen. How different and similar are their lives? What are they like. Not in a stalkerish way, just with curiosity and interest, I plan to write to as many Carl Jensens as I can find and see if they will write back and tell me about their lives. We will see where this cra y idea goes. I think people genuinely like to share about themselves if they trust that the person asking means them no harm.

3. Welcome bag project - Kids coming into foster care often have nothing but the clothes they are wearing and the few things they can grab on the way out the door. It might be a day or so before the foster family can assemble the things a child needs. Its nice for kids to get a welcome bag with a tooth brush, maybe a stuffed animal, clean under wear. Something to call their own. My kids still have the blankets that came in their welcome bags and they are a real connection to the before in their lives. Michael still sleeps with his (don't tell him I told you) and he is 14. The foster parent association usually provides these bags. I would like to help collect supplies, assemble bags and store items.

4. Lose 50 pounds - I can do this. I have 28 pairs of pants I can not wear. Keto diet works best for our family. Hard work and dedication. I can do this.

5. Home improvement - I have lived here 9 years. My kids are rowdy. My dog is cra y.  I am messy. There are a lot of broken, worn out things here.

6. Shave my head- I have always said I wish it was socially acceptable for women to  shave their heads. I hate my hair.Maybe it will grow back better. Will it look good? Maybe not. Who am I trying to impress? May 30th. I'm doing it.

7. Beach vacation - May 31 - June 6th I am renting a beach house in Florida and the kids and I are going.

8. Save money every month - I have a specific amount in mind to save every month. I have never been able to save money. Ever. I am paying myself first every pay check and determined to save.

9.Send a letter a week to a friend (Snail mail) - I love to write letters. I love to get letters. If you get a letter from me this year its because you are on the list of the top 52 most important people in my life. Feel special.

10. Train Walter - Walter is a great dog. But like his master he lacks self control. I have signed him up for a class for difficult dogs. My goal is to be able to take him for a walk with out him yanking my arm off. And to teach him to stop barking at strangers.

11. Fix my teeth - I havent been to the dentist in 10 years and my teeth need attention

12. Have a friend party- I am having a party and inviting all my closest friends.

13. Take all of my vitamins every day - I have anemia and a vitamin D deficiency. I am supposed to take a lot of vitamins since my gastric surgery. I need my vitamins. Every day.

14. Fix my legs - Have vein disease in my legs. The blood pools in my legs and does not circulate properly. I was supposed to have surgery to help fix this a long time ago. But I blew it off. Time to take care of me.

15. Blog every week - hi Y'all

16. Write a book - I am documenting and writing everyday. I hope to take the end result of Project 50 and turn it into a book.

17. Organi e all the cabinets, drawers and closets in my house - Just because someone is messy and unorgani ed does not mean that they don't hate clutter and mess and wish they could be different. I hate my closets, drawers and cabinets.

18. Complete the fall 2020 Volksmarch - in 2017, when I was 50 pounds lighter, I completed the Volks march with my friend Bob. I went right up to Cra y Horses head. I want to do it again.

19. Buy a bike - I have not been on a bike since 2005. I want to enjoy bike riding with my kids.

20. Post one interesting thing from my pinterest  board everyday - I have a lot of interesting shit on pinterest that I never look at. If I share something new everyday it makes me look at my ideas.

21. Exercise 30 minutes every day - I think this is the hardest thing for me. I hate exercise. And finding the time to do it is difficult. Last week I was trying to run on my tread mill. Walter was barking, Tori was talking non stop. Dante was having a tantrum, Michael was sulking because I yelled at him and Evan was having poop issues.Christopher was watching tv with the sound so loud I'm surprised his ears were not bleeding. Impossible I said. So I quit. But I know its important and its on the list. So get er done.

22. Print all the pictures from my phone and do something with them - I have a bout 1500 pluse pictures that need to be printed and organi ed. Baby steps. A little at a time.

23. Learn to wear make up -I am almost 50 and have not mastered this. I feel like if I am going to be bald at least My make up should be on point.

24. Family photo shoot - Tori has been adopted two and a half years and we have no professional photos of all of us.

25. Take a week end trip by myself first class - Mamma needs to go away alone and refill her cup.

26. Write down everything I eat and all of the money I spend everyday. If I write it down I will be more aware.

27. Read 50 books in a year - That's one book a week. The library is my friend.

28. Pay off all debt except my house - This is actually one of the more doable things on the list. I just have to stop wasting money and be consistent.

29. Have a free garage sale- I have a lot of stuff I never use. There are people who dont have anything. I am going to have a free garage sale and give away items I dont want. I will collect donations from others as well to give away.

30. Make a Facebook match up game - I have friends on Facebook who I know would get along smashingly. My idea is to introduce these friends.

31.Have a family day one Saturday a month - One Saturday a moth have an outing with all the kids.

32. Increase my retirement - I am getting old. I need to contribute more than 1% to my retirement.

33. Have a date night with each kid once a month - An at home date night. Like make a giant fort night or glow in the dark night. Everyone can participate. But who evers night it is can help plan and organi e it.

34. Shoot a gun - I am not a gun enthusiast.I don't want to own one. My friend Christy tells me that shooting a gun is better than sex. I'd like to see for myself.

35. Watch no tv except on Sundays- I waste too much time binge watching shows on netflix. I can watch tv on Sunday night.

36. Celebrate international mud day - Come to my house on international  mud day in June and find us painting with mud, sliding in mud. Having mud fights. Wear your old clothes though. We plan to get messy.

37. Celebrate Christmas in July - July 25, 2020. Dollar store gifts. Turkey and dressing, Christmas music, news paper snow balls.

38. Lemonade Project - If you know me at all you know this project is close to my heart. I want to start a non profit organi ation called the Lemonade Project. The goal is to mentor parents in the foster care system. I have stopped and started this a lot of time. Mainly because I don't have a lot of confidence in myself. But it is always on my mind. The time is ripe.

39. Redecorate my house - I have decorated my home the same way for the past 30 years. lots of antique pictures. I love them. But I want a change. I want more kitchy stuff. Things that reflect me.

40. Go to my primary care doctor - I havent been to the doctor in a long time. need blood work and a referral for that leg thing.

 41. Hire a maid - Just twice a month or so. To do the things I never do. Like mop and stuff and make my trash can all shiny.

42. Hire my cousin to paint a portrait of my dog - My cousin's daughter is a wonderful artist and paints portraits of dogs. I need a painting of Walter.

43. Special project - This one is too personal to share

44. Plan a week end trip with my friend Sam for our birthday - My friend Sam is ama ing. She listens to me whine. She loans me a few bucks when I am poor. She never jusdges me for my poor decisions and she laughes at my cra y stories. Our birthdays are in September. So we should go on a week end get away.

45. Have a fabulous Christmas- Christmas stresses me out as a mom. I like the 4th of July. Nobody ever has to take out a second job for the 4th of July. You just show up at your uncle Jimmy's house and eat hot dogs and watch fire works and go home. No stress. This year I will not stress about making Christmas perfect. I want to enjoy my family this year instead of worry that its not good enough.

46. Read the entire Bible in a year - I have a one year Bible divided into days. Each day a passage from Old testament, new Testament, Psalms, Proverbs. Once I read the whole bible in a month. I can do it in a year.

47. Take a walk once a week - One day a week lace up my shoes and take a walk with my kids ( and eventually my dog if he learns to behave)

48. Random act of kindness once a week - Sound so cheesy but its not hard to do something nice for someone once a week.

49. Take a picture of myself everyday for a year - Just an interesting idea.

50. Have a fabulous 50th birthday party Saturday September 25th, 2020 - You are all invited. I love parties. I'm going to do it up big y'all.